These are Rebecca Cambell’s words from her book ‘Light is the new black’. I’m absorbing the words, there’s so much recognition. And since she’s a few steps ahead of me, I find it extremely inspiring.
But I do dim to fit in.
Rebecca says: “Flowers don’t open and close according to who is walking by. They open and show their beauty regardless.” Unfortunately, I am not shining my beauty regardless. I am aware that I am only shining my light, I am only being ME, when I feel save. And often I don’t. But by not being ME, I have organized parts of my life where I don’t feel save. It’s definitely time to get out of that vicious circle!
She also writes: “Light up no matter who is around you. When you do, you make it easier for your people to find you.” I kind of do the opposite. My ‘lighting up’ and being 100% me, totally depends on who I am surrounded with. But by not being ME, how can I ever attract people who DO make me feel save to be me?
At work, I totally dim to fit in. I’m not being me, because I don’t feel save. I don’t feel save, because I’m not at the right place. I’m not at the right place, because I signed this contract when I wasn’t being ME. And my job consumes such a big chunk of my week; how can I expect to be ME the remaining part of the week, after ignoring my intuition for the biggest part of it?
So I went to work the day I read those words and tried to be ME. I was honest, tried to explain to my colleagues why I had a certain opinion, demanded a change in an advertisement, told my boss I needed to work from home sometimes. And it was ok! More then ok, because by just being honest, I created space for my intuition to speak, space to notice the work of my colleagues (I actually gave more compliments) and space to make stuff better!
And the biggest advantage was: I felt SAVE being me!! It was the most comfortable day I had in ages. Because no matter what people would think of my opinion, it could never hurt me, since I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just being me! It felt so simple.
So, I won’t dim to fit in. I will shine my light, regardless the situation I am in. Because I’m sure that’s why I am me, and that’s why I’m here.